Love Conquers All

[Recycled from 8 February 2005]

Joe: Hi, Charlie, haven't seen you since before the election.

Charlie: Well, I've been busy.

Joe: Not preparing legal challenges to Measure 36, I hope?

Charlie: I've done a little work on those, but mostly just family stuff.

Joe: Come on, give it up. You and Bob, you have your . . .

Charlie: Marriage, Joe, we have a marriage. You may not recognize it --

Joe: And neither does the government, and it never will. Get used to it.

Charlie: Joe, we aren't going to give up, and you had better get used to that.

Joe: Look, I like you as an individual, but you'ver got to face facts: I'm a member of a movement, a big one, and collectively . . . we, collectively, hate you, collectively. Sorry to be so blunt about it.

Charlie: No, I find it refreshing. But you're still not going to win this one.

Joe: We will. Because we hate you more than you hate us.

Charlie: I won't deny that we, collectively, hate you, collectively. That's just human nature when someone attacks you. But you're missing something important.

Joe: Yeah?

Charlie: You don't hate us more than we love our families. That's why when you tire and falter, we will keep right on going, and win.

Mean People

[Recycled from 5 February 2005]

(Recycled from 17 August 2004, because you'll never see it buried in the archives, and this one deserves to be seen by more people. Also, I didn't have anythign for today)

I saw it probably awhile after you first did, because things tend to reach Oregon slowly, if at all. It said

MEAN
PEOPLE
SUCK

I couldn't disagree with the sentiment, but I wondered if it really contributed anything to public discourse.

Later, I saw a new one:

NICE
PEOPLE
SWALLOW

Now it seemed we were getting somewhere. Another undeniable truth, and a more positive one. Where would we go from there?

All over the map, as it turned out:

MEAN
PEOPLE
KICK ASS

Again, true, but unproductive.

MEAN
PEOPLE
MAKE
LITTLE
MEAN
PEOPLE

They don't have to -- break the cycle of abuse!

NO
YOU
SUCK

Tsk -- that's unproductive.

PEOPLE
SUCK
ME

In your dreams, big boy.

MEAN
PEOPLE
ARE
HURTING

That one needed to be said.

And so on.

But people (mean or otherwise) seem to have missed a very good one, so here it is:

SAYING
PEOPLE
SUCK
IS
MEAN

And it is. Don't use that word, find a better way to express your disappointment with someone's meanness.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Meanness is undesirable."\\

Swanks a Lot

From: swanksalot
Date: January 20th, 2005 - 09:18 pm

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

Food Not Bombs

[Recycled from 19:26, 23 January 2005]

Sounds like a good idea to me.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Me, too."\\

My blog is worth $7,339.02.
How much is your blog worth?

I'm Online: There Are Worse Places To Be

[Recycled from 00:58, 12 January 2005]

Some nights, I wonder why I bother to climb up here to the lookout tower. Then again, there are mights when I find out amazing things:

** Iapetus has a seam. Dern thing looks like it came out of a mold.

** People actually read blogs. Sometimes they even get bad legislation withdrawn. I'm reminded of the old Western Union commercial showing a Congressman literally buried in a pile of indignant telegrams, saying, astonished, "They don't agree!"

** There actually is a way to report on REMFsfeld's plan to unleash death squads on the Iraqi people and be funny about it, not burst out in a full-throated scream.

Like I said, amazing.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You find what you look for."\\

Bush is No Hitler

[Recycled from 16:09, 11 January 2005]

I am deeply offended, as all right-thinking people are, by extremists who, in words or in pictures, compare George W. Bush with Adolf Hitler.

Anyone who has studied history can see that Bush, with his belief in swift military victories as the key to energizing his people and renewing their traditional religious values, is not Hitler.

He's Tojo.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Hardy har har."\\

The Question and an Answer

From Living in a Fascist State by Lewis H. Lapham:

It does no good to ask the weakling's pointless question, "Is America a fascist
state?" We must ask instead, in a major rather than a minor key, "Can we make
America the best damned fascist state the world has ever seen?"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You are asking the wrong question."\\

Good Heavens, It's True!

There really are Nazi Olsen Twins, and they exist in this familiar world of ours, not in the Evil Mirror Universe.

It's all true.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You did notice before you asked me that I'm black didn't you?"\\

Minimum Wage

[Recycled from 13:50, 27 December 2004]

Writing for the Portland Oregonian today, Paul F. deLespinasse repeats the old claim that raising the minimum wage will result in jobs being eliminated, growth being retarded, and poor people worse off than if their wages had remained low.

It sounds perfectly logical. Higher wages means greater costs for the employers, so naturally the minimum wage would be a deadly trap, doomed to failure.

Perfectly logical. Just ain't so.

Click any of the links above and see for yourself.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Sit down before Truth like a little child."\\

The Party of Treason

I sit up here, watching gorgeous clouds slide past the just-past-full Moon, thinking how pretty the night is compared with the gray, overcast day that preceded it, and think that there comes a time to call a spade a goddamn shovel:

"America is ignoring the Geneva Conventions because our president feels that winning this war is so paramount. Our Congress has watered down our civil rights laws. We have jailed American citizens with no access to legal counsel. And our President even believes it is worth lying to the American people in order to wage this so-important battle. All this because we are a nation at war and nothing will be permitted to stand in the way of this life-and-death struggle.

"But when a senior aide to the President of the United States endangers the life of an undercover CIA agent, her colleagues and contacts around the world - when he chooses to put at risk our entire effort to uncover weapons of mass destruction before they are used to kill millions in an American city - what response do we get from the Bush White House and the Republican Party? A defensive (offensive) shrug."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "A time to every purpose under Heaven".\\

Oops

Click above to sign a petition calling on members of Congress to admit they were wrong in supporting George W. Bush's invasion of Iraq.

It's the least they can do.

The very, very least.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Exceed the minimum".\\

A Military Failure

[Recycled from 13:01, 22 December 2005]

No, not that one, a smaller, less costly, less visible one, but possibly a more damaging one in the long run.

George W. Bush's "National Missile Defense" system, formerly known as the "Strategic Defense Initiative", has been trying to shield the United States against Soviet ICBMs since back when there still was a Soviet Union.

And it's still out there, still hemorrhaging money, and still producing . . . nothing.

We could have gone to Mars, or maybe even armored a few military vehicles, with this much money and that many years, and instead . . . .

Instead, you can click on these links and see what your money has bought you.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't throw good money after bad."\\

Passin' Through

[Recycled from 13:01, 26 December 2004]

(Chorus)
Passin' through, passin' through
Sometimes happy, sometimes blue, glad that I ran into you
Tell the people that they're only passin' through

I saw Jesus on the cross, on that hill called Calvary
"Do ya hate mankind for what they done to you?"
He said, "Talk of love, not hate, things to do, it's gettin' late
I've so little time, I'm only passin' through

I shivered with George Washington one night at Vally Forge
"Why do the soldiers freeze here like they do?"
He said "Men will suffer, fight, even die for what is right
Even though they know they're only passin' through"

I rode with Yuri Gagarin, alone above the Earth
"You're far from home, now what's in this for you?"
"We must rise above our fear, step out on this new frontier
There's no stopping here, we're still just passin' through"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "That's one way to put it".\\

I Am a Hippie Kid

But you knew that already, didn't you?
Kathe notes that our answers and our scores were remarkably similar. Funny, we don't dress alike. :-)

Hippie Kid 40% Tastefulness, 65% Originality, 33% Deliberateness, 36% Sexiness

[Flamboyant Original Random Prissy] The idea of "good taste" is alien to you because how can one style be judged better than the other? You are also not the one to follow what someone has currently decided is "fashionable." To you it's most important that you feel good in your clothes. You like it if people notice an interesting detail you're wearing and you have some taste for extravagance but you don't spend hours composing outfits. This laid-back attitude leaves you plenty of time for other things in life and still most people remember a few interesting outfits they saw on you. I don't know if you wear hippy clothes but perhaps they would match your philosophy? The opposite style from yours is Uptown Girl/Boy [Tasteful Conventional Deliberate Sexy]. All the categories: Fashion Enemy Bar Cruiser Kid Next Door Sex Bomb Hippie Kid Fashion Rebel Fashion Artist Catwalk God(ess) Librarian Sporty Hottie Office Master Uptown Girl/ Boy Brainy Student Movie Star Fashionista Glamorous Soul

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on Tastefulness You scored higher than 88% on Originality You scored higher than 0% on Deliberateness You scored higher than 11% on Sexiness

Link: The Fashion Style Test written by mari-e on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Russians Claim They Invented Blogging First

Boy, am I dating myself with that headline, or what?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Yes."\\

There Are Four Lights

I can see them quite clearly, Mister President.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Yes."\\

Petition to Replace Stewart Simonson

Because we can't afford to have an unqualified crony-of-a-crony do a "heckuva job" protecting the nation from influenza.

"Go . . . Go . . . Go . . . ."

The very best of luck to Fei Junlong and Nie Haisheng.

Take care of yourselves, guys.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Distance can bring perspective."\\

Sound Monetary Policy

[Recycled from 18:51, 14 December 2004]

I am a member of a small and as of the present not-very-successful barter network called the HOUR Exchange (www.hourexchange.com). In the current issue of their publication, the Hour Trader, they reprint excerpts from R0obert Swann's "Putting Power in its Place" and the E.F. Schumacher Society's "A Place of Local Currency in the World Economy". These essays can be found also at www.smallisbeautiful.org

Essentially, it shows how many of the world's current ills are the result of structural inefficiencies and weaknesses in the current monetary system, which exists mainly to serve the interests of global capital.

Please note, I didn't say global capitalism, or Global Capitalism, or even the globe's capitalists -- I said global capital, and if you don't think *that* is a dangerous beast, you haven't been paying much attention.

There is some wisdom to be found in this composite essay, but I'm afraid I don't care much for the primary solution offered at the conclusion: a "universal" measure of value which would be agreed upon by thousands of local banks and currency boards and which would be based on something objective (gold, kilowatt-hours, sacks of wheat) and which would be extremely stable over the long term.

Problem, is, there obviously is no such thing, and can't be. The price of any commodity, even the most basic, is inevitably going to vary over time, relative to any other commodity. Indeed, relative to every other commodity. Heck, even the relative value of gold to silver is embarrassingly elastic.

The closest we could come to such a stable standard of value would be a universal currency embraced by all the world's banks and national treasuries, perhaps an expansion of the Euro into the "Globo" -- exactly the opposite of the sort of system that Schumacherians would support.

As for me, I think that global capital is indeed a danger to civilization, trapping us in genocidal and ecocidal variations on the Prisoner's Dilemma. But I also think we could control the beast if we chose to, and under control it would provide a reasonably good system for bringing the world together and providing for everyone's needs -- much the way U.S. corporations, restrained by Federal, local, labor group and consumer group power, used to serve the needs of working people.

Which reminds me: before we reform global capital, we need to get our own country back from the drunken bullies. But that's a post for another time.

Also, remind me to tell you about the Gross National Value, the measure nobody is measuring.

Utterly Shameless

I got home after dark tonight, and begged Kathe to put off her bath and come for a walk with me. I'd seen Frozen Burrito Stadium all lit up for some sort of night-time activity and wanted her to see it also. It really was worth the trip to see it.

We got there just in time, too. We went up to the top of the new parking garage and looked the stadium over, and by the time we got back down to street level, they'd turned the lights out.

When we got home and I started looking at news, my mood darkened a bit, too.

George W. Bush, his Education Secretary Margaret Spellings, and Congressional Republicans have found something to sacrifice for the sake of hurricane reconstruction:

Desegregation.

These people are utterly shameless.

But I will say "Shame on them" anyway.

Shame, shame, shame.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "A foolish consistency is a hobgoblin. Consistent evil is a Balrog."\\

Okay, You Did It

You spammers forced me to turn on "word verification". Poop on all of you spammers, and all your bots.

John Needs . . . .

Current mood: If you can't tell my current mood by reading the words below, I have failed at this job.

I saw something amazing tonight, not long after sunset. There was a patch of cloud, part of it covering the lovely crescent Moon, which was made up of straight parallel streaks. And when I say straight, I mean like a ruler, and when I say parallel I mean like furrows in a plowed field.

It was the damnedest thing. Kathe saw it, too. I wish I'd been up in the lookout tower to see it, although in that case it wouldn't have been so unusual, since it would have been imaginary.

I got this from neonnurse, who got it from kip_w, who got it from autopope, who doesn't say where he got it (good thing, or we'd never get to my needs): Google "[YOUR NAME HERE] needs" and let Googlomancy tell you what you need.

"John needs help" -- No, I'm a big boy, and Kathe takes good care of me when I can't take care of myself, and I've also got both parents living, so no, I don't need any additional help.

"John needs a new name" -- No, I don't. I like being John. So there.

"John needs a good home" -- Wrong again. I particularly like the one I've lived in for the last 21 years, and have no intention of leaving. I am seriously beginning to doubt the efficacy of this form of divination.

"John needs to see Almost Famous" -- I might catch it cometime, but I can live without it.

"John needs your bone marrow" -- What . . . on . . . Earth . . . ? Okay, one more miss and I'm going back to the exclusive use of my Magic 8-Ball.

"When spoken to, John needs a few seconds to gather his response" -- Okay, that one's very definitely true, impressively so.

"John needs a way to assign an item's UUID to an attribute" -- Uhhh . . . . Should have quit while I was ahead.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Oh, so now you ask me?"\\

Harriett Miers

Oh, well. Once on the Court, away from Bush's direct daily influence, she will be eager to latch, remora-like, onto some other strong personality and follow his/her lead in all things. Maybe we'll luck out, and she'll attach herself to Ginsburg or Stevens.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Outlook hazy, ask again later."\\

Gross National Value

[Recycled from 18 December 2004]

I first ran into the concept of Gross National Value in Katherine Maclean's novel The Missing Man, where it was called "gross national use value".

GNV is simply the total value of everything (public property, private property, personal property). This idstinguishes it from Gross National Product, which is concerned only with the price paid for things which actually were bought and sold in a given year.

GNV can be calculated quite well by considering the prioces brought by comparable property which is bought and sold each year. It may rise or fall, according to markets and supplies, and it must remain hypothetical (since the price of anything would drop if *all* of it were put on the market), but it can still tell us useful things about what we have and what it's worth.

Note all the things that contribute to GNV that are ignored by GNP, and vice versa: a new pair of shoes that costs $45 and is worn out and has to be replaced in six months adds $90 to the GNP. Shoes bought two years ago for $60 add nothing to GNP, but if they are in good shape will add at least $20 to GNV. Demolishing a Victorian house and putting up an apartment cube adds half a million dollars to GNP, but GNV regards it as a net gain of only $200k, subtracting the value of the old house. Development of greenfield land may be a net GNV loss, while cleaning up a toxic waste site may boost GNV by millions at a cost of a few thousand.

Yes, it's true, GNV is just a made-up number, and decisions based on it will always have to be suspect, but when has that ever stopped us before? At the very least, isn't it time we started choosing our own made-up numbers to worship?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "23 - 56 - 93 - 4"\\

Dear Kinko's

[Recycled from 01:23, 20 December 2004]

First of all, folks, thank you for putting comment cards in your shop. That was considerate and, if I may say, courageous of you.

We do quite a bit of photocopying, and we used to do a lot of it at Kinko's, but all that changed when you started using this "card" system, demanding that we buy prepaid cards, feed them with money, insert them into the machines, take the card to a cash register at the other end of the store and wait for someone to come to take our money, &c., &c.

We were in the other day to photocopy our Christmas letter, because the independent copy shop downtown wasn't open on Sunday. Our experience at your shop reinforced our resolution not to go to Kinko's ever again.

Thank you, Kinko's, for making it easier for us to support locally-owned businesses.

[Update: Still haven't gone back, either.]

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do the right thing."\\

"Affection"?

[Recycled from 01:20, 3 December 2004]

Robert Meyer (or "junkyarddog58", as he seems to like to be called), writes:

"By obliterating the uniqueness and sanctity of marriage, they [gay couples seeking to marry legally] tend to homogenize and trivialize it by celebrating any affectionate relationship in general."

With these words, he seeks to obliterate these couples'love and reduce it to an "affectionate relationship".

Similar language is found in Michael Coren's posting. Incredibly, he writes as a member of an organization called the "Catholic Civil Rights League".

"Affection."

Thus do they demonstrate the truth of the adage that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. It is this chilly indifference which confirms me in my suspicion that Meyers' flinty heart is in the wrong place, and that the renewal of the liberal tradition on which America was founded is of the utmost importance.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The difference between what you need and what you get depends in large part on how hard you want."\\

My Martian National Anthem

[Recycled from 29 July 2004 and 4 January 2005, because it's good]

(Chorus)
Inch by inch, row by row
Gonna make this garden grow
Work the soil and the snow
'Til we've made it fertile ground
Inch by inch, row by row
God bless these seeds I sow
Mars warm them from below
'Til the rain comes tumblin' down

Digging frost, crushing stone
Gonna make this world our own
Fertilize it with our bones
Put our life into the land
Mirrors shine, comets fall
Mars awakens at our call
Lots of work, but worth it all
For a planet made by hand

(Chorus)

Awful dry, awful cold
And the soil is awful old
Superoxides won't unfold
'Til you talk to them just right
But we endure, we persist
Old Mars just can't resist
Life works like an alchemist
With water, air and light

(Chorus)

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "To do something, you must first believe it is possible."\\